Mother invades adult daughter's privacy by reading her journal and confronting her about its contents, No Contact is on the table due to broken trust

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jan 31, 2025 9:00 PM EST

I think we're all familiar with the concept of, "My house, my rules." Honestly, 99 percent of the time, it is a pretty reasonable notion. If you are living under someone else's roof — this is to say that they pay for it, and you do not— then you should adhere to their standards of cleanliness, for example. This goes for guests, too. However, if the so-called household rules require some sort of invasion of privacy, then they have crossed a line that goes beyond rationality. 

In our story today, a mom, still under the belief that her adult daughter is elementary school age, reads her private journal while she is away. Disturbed by the way her daughter wrote about her, she confronts her, only emphasizing that she is just as controlling as she was written out to be in the diary. Mom's only excuse was that she had the right to know what was going on under her roof.To get all the details of this mother-daughter drama, scroll down below!

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  • 01

    AIO packing up and leaving after my mom read my diary?

    "I told her that was a massive invasion of my privacy, but she insisted that because it's her house, she has the right to know what's going on with me."
    via MK Studio

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Last week, I found out my mom had read my diary. For context, I'm 22 and still living at home while saving up for my own place. I keep my diary private it's where I write about my thoughts, feelings, and some very personal stuff I don't share with anyone.
    via u/cutexgianna
  • 03
    I accidentally left it out on my desk before going to work, and when I got home, my mom confronted me about something I wrote, specifically about feeling like she was too controlling. When I asked how she even knew, she admitted to reading my diary, claiming she was "worried about me" and needed to check if I was okay.
    via u/cutexgianna
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10461678080
    via wundervisuals

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    I told her that was a massive invasion of my privacy, but she insisted that because it's her house, she has the right to know what's going on with me. I was so upset that I packed a bag and went to stay with a friend for a few days. Since then, she's been texting me nonstop, apologizing but also justifying her actions.
    via u/cutexgianna
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10461678336
    via Vlada Karpovich from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • She does have the right to know what's going on with her daughter. Maybe instead of invading her privacy, she could have taken the empathetic approach and just asked. 

  • 07
    Now my aunt is involved, telling me I overreacted and should let it go because my mom was just trying to look out for me. I haven't responded to any of them because I feel really hurt and don't know what to say.
    via u/cutexgianna
  • 08
    So, am I overreacting for leaving and going no- contact for now? Should I have handled this differently?
    via u/cutexgianna
  • 09
    makkisucks NOR. you're a grown adult, she had no right to invade your privacy like that. and i hate when parents use the excuse of "it's my house, so i can do yadda yadda" because 1. just no and 2. it's YOUR diary. she's also proving your point about her being too controlling lol
    via u/makkisucks
  • 10
    FROG123076 She is also showing she is not a safe person to be around and you will be better off without her. Parents like this are the ones who don't understand why they are no longer on speaking terms with their kids. You need to find a roommate or get your own place even if it's a studio. Get away from her.
    via u/FROG123076
  • 11
    onwardtowaffles If you were renting a room in someone else's house and they broke in and messed with your stuff, anyone would consider that a huge violation of privacy. The situation isn't different just because you're related to your landlord.
    via u/onwardtowaffles
  • 12
    TheMrEM4N The irony of her questioning you thinking she's too controlling after she reads your diary without consent then confronts you about it....
    via u/TheMrEM4N
  • 13
    Cheezburger Image 10461677824
    via Liza Summer from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    Only_Music_2640 ". While I was snooping through your private things in your room, I came across your diary and read it! I am extremely upset that you think I'm controlling. How dare you! I'm your mother! | have every right to invade your privacy!"
    via u/Only_Music_2640
  • 15
    Ashley Nicholec That's what I was thinking. The mom proved the daughter's point.
    via u/AshleyNicholeC
  • 16
    zanne54 NOR, your controlling mother is now deploying the flying monkeys. Adulthood is rarely conferred to young adults from their parents; it must be seized. Stay the course.
    via u/zanne54
  • 17
    Silly_goosey_girl NOR if she was worried about you she could have come to you instead of invading your privacy. You're an adult, not a child. It might be her house, but that was your property. Sounds like you were right about her being controlling if she's done this. Well done for taking time to process how you're feeling about it all and not giving in to pressure to just brush it all under the rug. I agree it was time to move out. She's just upset she's facing the consequences to her actions, n
    via u/Silly_goosey_girl

  • Mom really tried to backpedal and make it seem like she was worried for her daughter, but she was really just concerned about being perceived as controlling.

  • 18
    PurplePlodder1945 Not overreacting. I have two daughters - 26 and 24 and still at home. I'd NEVER do something like this. Their things are private. I don't even go in their drawers to find something I want to borrow
    via u/PurplePlodder1945
  • 19
    MaricarMellow Oh man, that's a whole level of 'yikes'! First off, feeling upset about this is totally valid. Privacy is a big deal, especially with something as personal as a diary. It's not just "notes," it's the deep-dive into your brain space!
    via u/MaricarMellow
  • 20
    Honestly, staying with a friend was a smart move. It gives you space to process and decide how you want to handle things without being in a high-stress environment. And about going no-contact? That's a personal choice. If you need time to heal and think things through, that's perfectly reasonable.
    via u/MaricarMellow
  • 21
    Maybe when things feel a bit cooler, a conversation about boundaries could help? Like, "Hey Mom, I get you care, but my diary is off-limits. Let's talk about things more openly?" Just a thought! Remember, it's about what makes YOU comfortable in the long run. Stay strong!
    via u/MaricarMellow
  • 22
    Strawberryhills1953 I was brought up with never open a purse or a wallet that isn't yours. Nor a cell phone either. I would be upset as well. It was a bad invasion of privacy. This may be the best thing to happen with your life. But mothers can try too hard in light of current events to be cautious. Cool down and then talk. Go from there.
    via u/Strawberryhills1953
  • 23
    New_Run_7892 My mom read my diary when I was 16. I didn't find out until I was 17 and told her I was thinking of ending things. She said "you've been thinking that for years, it's fine" We are still not close.
    via u/New_Run_7892
  • 24
    LeahRose011 Nope! You're a grown adult and she doesn't respect your privacy. I hate when adults use the phrase "my house, my rules". It's YOUR diary, YOUR privacy. She has no right to go through it! I would cut contact or distance myself but that's my opinion
    via u/LeahRose011
  • 25
    Electronic_Use_551 Get your own place. It's nice to have privacy. You'll like it!
    via u/Electronic_Use_551

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family drama privacy journal mother adulting motherhood reddit story relationships parenting love entitled boundaries reddit thread daughter Reddit diary
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